25 Strange Headlines That Leapt Right Off The Page

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Lizzo, known for her twerking and body-positive anthems, recently summoned a swarm of trolls – but not the kind you’re thinking of. At a concert, Lizzo played a 200-year old flute once owned by James Madison, and some of the internet was NOT pleased with the twerking involved. And on a slightly different note, one Jeffery Moore recently resigned from his position as Gadsden County Commissioner after pictures surfaced of him dressed as KKK member for Halloween – somehow, he thought that would be an appropriate and fun costume to wear, apparently. Just as the cherry on top, he was appointed by Florida Republican Ron DeSantis and was serving in Florida’s only predominantly Black county. And finally, Redditors are trolling Texas’ content-moderation law by requiring every comment on their subreddit to call Greg Abbott a piss baby. While some might see this behaviour as infantile or unproductive, we think it’s kinda creative (and funny). 

The CIA Just Invested in Wooly Mammoth Resurrection Technology.

The CIA is investing in technology to resurrect the Wooly Mammoth. CRACKED.COM Colossal Biosciences, which aims to return the beasts to the tundra once again, has investors like Peter Thiel, Tony Robbins, Paris Hilton, Winklevoss Capital, and yes, the Cen- tral Intelligence Agency.

The Intercept / Wikipedia

John Paul College student banned from school grounds because of ‘unsuitable’ mullet haircut.

An Australian college student was banned from school grounds for his mullet. GRAGKED.COM The student has been de- nied entry to the school for three weeks thanks to his unsuitable haircut, which is against the College Uni- form and Personal Appear- ance Expectations policy.

Perth Now / Wikipedia

Tiny Robots Have Successfully Cleared Pneumonia From The Lungs of Mice.

The lungs of mice have been successfully cleared of pneumonia by microscopic robots. GRACKED.COM The microbots are made from algae cells and covered with a lay- er of antibiotic nanoparticles. Now make an Iron Man suit already, lazy scientists.

Science Alert / Wikipedia

Painting owner calls for prosecution after subject’s ‘vandalism’ to correct spelling of his name.

A painter is being accused of vandalism for correcting the spelling of his name in a hotel. CRACKED.COM New Zealand activist T me Iti saw the artwork with his name spelled Tama, so he produced a pen and fixed it. The current owner of the painting says it's no different from graffi- ti.

NextBest / Wikipedia

Crocs only for wearing, not eating, manufacturer clarifies.

The manufacturer that makes Crocs has clarified that the products are for wearing, not eating. CRACKED.COM We have a very straight- forward stance on this top- ic, says spokesperson Me- lissa Layton. Regardless of the material makeup, for no reason do we recom- mend eating Crocs shoes.

NextBest / Unsplash

California employers will be required to post salaries for job listings under new law.

Employers will finally have to include the salary on job postings in California. CALIFORNIA REPUBLIC.COM.BR The new bill requires com- panies with 15 or more workers to include pay scales in job postings. They'll probably still make you retype everything on your resume in their online portal, though.

ABC / Wikipedia

Bella Hadid Literally Had A Dress Spray-Painted Onto Her Body While Walking A Runway.

Bella Hadid had a dress literally spray-painted on her naked body on the runway. CRACKED.COM Wearing nothing but a thong, with her hands cov- ering her chest, Hadid stood as men sprayed her body down with a white substance. A woman then came out and trimmed the frayed ends into a gown.

Elite Daily / Wikipedia

This UFO on a U.S. Intelligence Agency’s Logo Has Everyone Buzzing.

The National Intelligence Manager for Aviation accidentally posted a logo with a UFO on it. CRACKED.COM NIM Aviation erroneously posted an unofficial and incorrect logo, says the Office of the Director, which is exactly what the cabal of interdimensional lizard folk want you to be- lieve.

Yahoo / Pixabay

NFL sent warning to every team after Tom Brady broke two tablets on the sideline in Week 2.

The NFL is sending warnings to teams after Tom Brady broke two tablets during a game. BUES Gى GRAGKED.COM Brady is on video spiking a Microsoft Surface tablet out of frustration, and was reported to have stepped on another off camera.

Sports Illustrated / Wikipedia

Scientists Create AI-Powered Laser Turret That Kills Cockroaches.

Scientists finally create something good with AI: a laser that blasts cockroaches to death. CRACKED.COM At a low setting, the laser is capable of disturbing the creepy crawlies to flight, where it can then turn up the heat and blast the suckers out of the sky.

Vice / Wikipedia

Jeremy Corbyn played a version of ‘Doom’ that lets you ‘kill Thatcher.’

Jeremy Corbyn was seen playing a version of Doom famous for the inclusion of Margaret Thatcher. CRACKED.COM The arcade cabinet is called Thatcher's Techbase, which is a Doom mod that lets players battle against the undead Prime Min- ister.

Indy100 / Wikimedia

Man caught on video urinating on ex-wife’s grave ‘almost every morning,’

A NJ man was caught using his ex-wife's grave as a toilet almost every morning. LOVE ORDER PROGRESS Levino Momoro RICHARD CONGREVE BORN, SPATE isis 1239 CRACKED.COM The deceased's son began noticing deli bags full of feces placed near the grave of his mother, so he set up a camera and found his mother's ex-husband, with his current wife, uri- nating on her grave.

Yahoo / Wikimedia

Lil Nas X Pauses Atlanta Concert to Take a “Mean Shit.”

Lil Nas stopped his concert in Atlanta to drop a deuce. CRACKED.COM I'm backstage, and this is, like, not part of the show, Mr. Nas said to concertgo- ers, But I'm taking a mean shit, so please . But I'm gonna be, like, a minute or two, and l'll be right back.

Consequence / Wikipedia

Wawa says N.J. House candidate ripped off goose logo.

A New Jersey House candidate ripped off the Wawa logo for their own branding. WAWA Liches CRACKED.COM WAN As if New Jerseyans of all people wouldn't notice, Jenkins is using a Canadian goose design that is identi- cal to a formerly registered trademark that the chain used from 1990 to 2004.

Politico / Wikimedia

Political ad touting ‘North Carolina values’ filmed out of state.

A political ad touting North Carolina values was filmed in a different state. CRACKED.COM In Republican congressio- nal candidate Во Hines' new ad, he says, We farmed these acres togeth- er, picking stones, pulling stumps and learning the lessons of the land, all filmed in Indiana.

WRAL / Wikipedia

Florida reporter defends putting condom on mic during Hurricane Ian broadcast.

A Florida reporter put a condom on her microphone for a Hurricane lan broadcast. CRACKED.COM It helps protect the gear, says NBC2's Kyla Galer. You can't get these mics wet. There's a lot of wind and a lot of rain, so we got- ta do what we gotta do and that is put a condom on the microphone.

USCI News / Wikimedia

California Restricts Use of Rap Lyrics in Criminal Trials After Gov. Newsom Signs Bill.

Rap lyrics will no longer count as evidence in criminal trials in California. CRACKED.COM Governor Gavin Newson signed the Decriminalizing Artistic Expression Act, which follows the recent indictment of Young Thug and Gunna, whose lyrics were directly quoted and used against them at trial.

Variety / Wikipedia

Netflix scrapped their upcoming series Grendel despite having already shot the entire season.

Netflix shot an entire show and then instantly canceled it. 11.521.823 - NETFLIX - - GRAGKED.COM Netflix shot the entire first 8-episode season of the TV adaptation of the Grendel comic book, about a writer that acts as an assassin when the sun goes down, and then decided not to move forward with it.

Screenrant / Unsplash

M&M’s introduce new purple female character citing ‘acceptance and inclusivity.’

A new purple M&M was announced for inclusivity. m m m m m m GRAGKED.COM Our new character re- minds us to celebrate what makes us unique, says the Mars VP. The character has released her first music single. No plans as of yet to actually make purple M&Ms.

Idaho News / Wikipedia

Bruce Willis denies selling rights to his face.

Despite the rumors, Bruce Willis is denying selling the rights to his face. CRACKED.COM It was widely reported that Willis had sold his face to a deepfake company, follow- ing his retirement from act- ing after being diagnosed with aphasia. A deepfake was used in a Russian ad last year, however.

BBC / Wikipedia

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton fled his home to avoid being served with subpoena

The Texas Attorney General fled his house to avoid being served a subpoena, claiming he feared for his safety. GRACKED.COM Ken Paxton tried to evade the process server as he attempted to deliver a sub- poena from an abortion fund's lawsuit against the state by jumping into an SUV driven by his wife.

Texas Tribune / Wikipedia

New law allows Californians to legally jaywalk.

A new law will allow Californians to legally jaywalk without being ticketed. CRACKED.COM Pedestrians can now cross the street outside of an intersection with- out breaking the law as long as it is safe to do so, starting January 1st, 2023.

KTLA / Pexels

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